My husband and I have had months to analyze and digest our reasons for adopting from Uganda. We understand that our friends and family are only just learning of our plans and have some of the same questions we had when we first started this journey. Sometimes I have to be reminded that those in our life care deeply for our family and are expressing concerns and have normal questions.
I have a dear friend in my women's group at church. I call her my Voice of Reason. I think God sent her into my life so he could speak to me, sometimes slap me upside the head when needed, or othertimes gently whisper a word or two that will transform me in an instant back to a rational human being with a kind heart. She has seen me go on and on over something I imagined was a great offense to me; someone doing an injustice to me or having the gall to disagree with me. My Voice of Reason over there will put forth a couple of words...gently...almost like she's not talking about my bad behaviour of the moment but just commenting on the world at large. And there in front of me will be...Reason.
I tell you this because she had a couple of wonderful words for me this weekend while I was offended and rightly hurt and all justified and rambling on and on about something. She said simply, "Amy, not everybody is going to agree with you. And, that's okay....Really."
Yep, she's right. If you think about it, convincing 100% of the people I know of how great adopting from Uganda is going to be was a bit of lofty goal!
I thought I'd address some of the top concerns I've heard from folks. Here are a few questions we've gotten along the way and how we feel regarding them....
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
What's a Cupcake Kid?
No doubt you've seen the great big
icon on the side bar.
You've thought to yourself, "I'd really like a cupcake right now...what is that over there?"
Cupcake Kids spun off from the children of the wonderful people at SixtyFeet. Their kids wanted to help the children of Africa as much as their parents did and they came up with the idea to sell some cupcakes on the corner. So far the movement has been a phenomenon across the US and has raised over $60,000 for orphan care.
Kids are naturally givers and philanthropists. I have wept over the big heart of my little girl, Kate, who raised close to $275 for her grandfather's ALS Benefit. How'd she do it?
Monday, August 29, 2011
First Fundraiser Underway
Our fundraiser, Project Puzzle, is underway! We received our FIRST donation from a dear friend in town. I should have known he would respond quicker than anyone else. Who else takes action immediately every single time my computer is infected with a virus...and actually fixes it. Who else had his Droid surgically implanted organized perfectly so it's always available? The very nanosecond our email went out about the fundraiser I got an almost instant message from Pay Pal notifying me of his donation. Thanks Friend!
We have also received donations from two great friends of mine. Thanks Girls! You are both dear to me.
Lastly, our big Kahuna came in with a whopping $1000 puzzle piece. The biggest challenge will be finding the puzzle piece worthy of such a generous and wonderful donation. Should it be one of his sparkling eyes, or a part of what is sure to be a loving and generous heart, or should it be part of the hand that I will hold every day? Tricky, so many great choices.
We have also received donations from two great friends of mine. Thanks Girls! You are both dear to me.
Lastly, our big Kahuna came in with a whopping $1000 puzzle piece. The biggest challenge will be finding the puzzle piece worthy of such a generous and wonderful donation. Should it be one of his sparkling eyes, or a part of what is sure to be a loving and generous heart, or should it be part of the hand that I will hold every day? Tricky, so many great choices.
I thought I should recap in case you haven't been to our fundraising page to see where all this money will go. $25K? What? Let me promise you one thing. The people involved in helping find forever families for orphans are not getting rich. Yes, I'm sure the world has it's share of swindlers out there, but when you see the breakdown of the costs involved, I think it makes better sense.
One thing you should know about our adoption. Todd and I are doing our adoption independently. That means we're doing the hard work of finding our own referral, we're putting all the paperwork together for Uganda and mailing it over ourselves, and we'll navigate the in country government requirements ourselves, as well.
What does this mean to you, our donors?
Sunday, August 28, 2011
I Refuse
I Refuse, by Josh Wilson
I've heard this song many times but never listened to the lyrics until today. Many people ask us why we're adopting from Uganda. Josh Wilson's song pretty much sums it up for me. I put it on our playlist so you might be listening to it right now, then again, maybe not.
I've heard this song many times but never listened to the lyrics until today. Many people ask us why we're adopting from Uganda. Josh Wilson's song pretty much sums it up for me. I put it on our playlist so you might be listening to it right now, then again, maybe not.
Sometimes I
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's all right
When no, they're not
This world needs God
But it's easier to just stand and watch
I could say a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong
But I refuse
Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse
I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, O God
So if you say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
And show them who you are
Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse
To stand and watch
The weary and lost
Cry out for Him
I refuse
To turn my back
And try and act like all is well
I refuse
To stay unchanged
To wait another day
To doubt myself
I refuse
To make one more excuse
Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse
I refuse
I refuse
Yeah
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's all right
When no, they're not
This world needs God
But it's easier to just stand and watch
I could say a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong
But I refuse
Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse
I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, O God
So if you say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
And show them who you are
Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse
To stand and watch
The weary and lost
Cry out for Him
I refuse
To turn my back
And try and act like all is well
I refuse
To stay unchanged
To wait another day
To doubt myself
I refuse
To make one more excuse
Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse
I refuse
I refuse
Yeah
Friday, August 26, 2011
Project Puzzle
We need to kick up the fundraising and this idea is so dang cute I couldn't pass it up. I didn't invent it but I put my own spin on it.
We don't have our referral (adoption lingo for who is this little one who will be taking up space in Jack's room and causing chaos hopefully very soon). But when we get his little mug shot we'll upload it on a 768 piece puzzle. Why 768 pieces? Um, because it was either that or 1,000 pieces and I thought writing names on teeny tiny pieces would look ridiculously small - too small and we'd need a microscope to see all your beautiful names.
Anyway, once we get this gorgeous little guy's photo (which BTW, you won't see until we have him home and the adoption is final. I know boohoo, but it has to be that way) I'll upload his photo and blur out his face but I'll show you the progress of writing your names on the back of the pieces! It is so cool, I promise you. I know it sounds super dorky but just go with me on this one!
You...my friends and fam, if you will lovingly support our adoption efforts by purchasing pieces of the puzzle for either $10 a piece or whatever hefty donation you see fit, we'll write your names on the back each piece of puzzle you purchase.
Try to imagine how smart this little one is going to be after Todd gets a hold of him. Remember Todd teaches gifted ed....so you know he'll be reading early and he'll be able to read just how many puzzle pieces you bought to bring him home. No pressure, just saying.
As all our friends, family and who knows, perhaps people we may not even know! purchase puzzle pieces, we'll start
So here's the idea...
Anyway, once we get this gorgeous little guy's photo (which BTW, you won't see until we have him home and the adoption is final. I know boohoo, but it has to be that way) I'll upload his photo and blur out his face but I'll show you the progress of writing your names on the back of the pieces! It is so cool, I promise you. I know it sounds super dorky but just go with me on this one!
You...my friends and fam, if you will lovingly support our adoption efforts by purchasing pieces of the puzzle for either $10 a piece or whatever hefty donation you see fit, we'll write your names on the back each piece of puzzle you purchase.
Try to imagine how smart this little one is going to be after Todd gets a hold of him. Remember Todd teaches gifted ed....so you know he'll be reading early and he'll be able to read just how many puzzle pieces you bought to bring him home. No pressure, just saying.
As all our friends, family and who knows, perhaps people we may not even know! purchase puzzle pieces, we'll start
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Meeting Friends, Noonday Collection
Living where we do, we are lucky to be in a vibrant community where many families are adopting from Uganda, Ethiopia, and Rwanda and I was blessed last weekend to spend the evening with some wonderful women getting to know new friends, talking about our adoption journeys and seeing the amazing artistic work shown by Noonday Collection.
Noonday Collection provides jobs by creating a pathway out of poverty for women. Buying goods from Noonday Collection creates a stable income for the artisans and means a family is less likely to abandon their child. Noonday Collection has grown to showing jewelery, accessories, and home and gifts in their trunk shows from Uganda, Ethiopia, India, Peru, Guatemala, and Ecuador.
I bought one of their best sellers. I saw it on the website before the trunk show and knew I was going to purchase it before I went. Here is my lovely. The Embira Seed bracelet is only $20.
She's sells for $24! What a bargain! Who could believe such a gorgeous little necklace could go for only $24?
I could have bought one of everything but I refrained, thankfully. One little splurge and now the belt is tight. But you, feel free to check out Noonday Collection. You know you're going to buy accessories anyways, so why not buy something that has a story, that is super cute and that you know is supporting women and children directly to gain a better life for themselves.
Noonday Collection provides jobs by creating a pathway out of poverty for women. Buying goods from Noonday Collection creates a stable income for the artisans and means a family is less likely to abandon their child. Noonday Collection has grown to showing jewelery, accessories, and home and gifts in their trunk shows from Uganda, Ethiopia, India, Peru, Guatemala, and Ecuador.
I bought one of their best sellers. I saw it on the website before the trunk show and knew I was going to purchase it before I went. Here is my lovely. The Embira Seed bracelet is only $20.
You see the little reddish bead there...mine is green and I LOVE it! I have worn it every day since I brought her home. This is Noonday's best seller made in Uganda by some amazingly talented artisans. It's made from embira seeds and those paper beads are unique to each bracelet. I tried on 5 or 6 bracelets until I found thee perfect one for me.
Enough about my one true love because I do have another one true love I didn't dare buy because I'm saving for, um, oh that's right OUR ADOPTION. Anyway, this is the other lovely called the Dainty Necklace made in India....
I could have bought one of everything but I refrained, thankfully. One little splurge and now the belt is tight. But you, feel free to check out Noonday Collection. You know you're going to buy accessories anyways, so why not buy something that has a story, that is super cute and that you know is supporting women and children directly to gain a better life for themselves.
What I know, I can't Un-know
People ask me, why adoption? Why take on such a huge task? Why Uganda? Why now? I tell them that I cannot unknow what I now know.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Jeffrey Family Blessing Blog Goes Live
I have been writing this blog for a few months now but because we have been preparing ourselves and our families for this big step, we have not put it out there to the world until now. We wanted to tell our families in our own time. We needed time to weigh the consequences thoroughly and see it from all angles. We have prayed a lot, cried a lot, and yes, we have even argued. We have seen the kids get excited. We have quit and few times and then restarted.
And now today we tell the world. We are adopting. Officially.
Not really. Y'all are sleeping! I'm the only one up! I'm telling no one really, right now.
Tomorrow you'll find out.
And when you do, make sure you become a follower. Stay informed during our journey. Support us with your prayers, encourage us with your comments, let us know you're there!
We love you all and appreciate you.
Amy and Todd
And now today we tell the world. We are adopting. Officially.
Not really. Y'all are sleeping! I'm the only one up! I'm telling no one really, right now.
Tomorrow you'll find out.
And when you do, make sure you become a follower. Stay informed during our journey. Support us with your prayers, encourage us with your comments, let us know you're there!
We love you all and appreciate you.
Amy and Todd
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Setting up Pay Pal, First Step in Fundraising
I fretted over Pay Pal and how to get it set up for the adoption fundraising because I remembered setting Pay Pal up for my business and I thought it took eons. But as I logged onto Pay Pal's website last night, the hardest part was finding the button for 'fundraising' and the rest truly was a breeze.
You can choose to either instantly verify your account information if you trust Pay Pal enough to give them your bank's log in information or it will take a few days for them to verify the account if you don't want to give them that information. I probably didn't give up my account log in information to Pay Pal last time. However, I have had a business account with them for 3 years now and if they wanted to steal from me, they would've already done it. I have never had a problem with them and feel very confident with their security now.
Putting the Pay Pal button on the blog was equally easy. They give you the 'code' and you you just copy and past it to your Gadgets on the blog where you want it to go. I tested it, of course. I did need to verify the email before the money could go thru. And, as always, remember, Pay Pal wants their cut. They're not Candy Stripers - they're a business allowing you to reach more people faster and for that they will get a percentage of every sale, donation, and transaction.
Once the transaction was complete, I withdrew the money I donated to ourselves into the account I've dedicated for the adoption. It will take 3-5 days for the process. My takes about 3 days to clear. Pay Pal is instantly friendly in the "You've got money!" department. So when you get a donation, you will know instantly; you will not need to log in into you account to find out.
So, cool, it's working and that didn't take long or cause a headache. Yay !
You can choose to either instantly verify your account information if you trust Pay Pal enough to give them your bank's log in information or it will take a few days for them to verify the account if you don't want to give them that information. I probably didn't give up my account log in information to Pay Pal last time. However, I have had a business account with them for 3 years now and if they wanted to steal from me, they would've already done it. I have never had a problem with them and feel very confident with their security now.
Putting the Pay Pal button on the blog was equally easy. They give you the 'code' and you you just copy and past it to your Gadgets on the blog where you want it to go. I tested it, of course. I did need to verify the email before the money could go thru. And, as always, remember, Pay Pal wants their cut. They're not Candy Stripers - they're a business allowing you to reach more people faster and for that they will get a percentage of every sale, donation, and transaction.
Once the transaction was complete, I withdrew the money I donated to ourselves into the account I've dedicated for the adoption. It will take 3-5 days for the process. My takes about 3 days to clear. Pay Pal is instantly friendly in the "You've got money!" department. So when you get a donation, you will know instantly; you will not need to log in into you account to find out.
So, cool, it's working and that didn't take long or cause a headache. Yay !
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Huge Step Forward Today
Giant step forward today!!!!!!!!!! We told the kids and Todd's mom about the adoption. So actually that's two giant leaps for man kind. The kids are jumping for joy and Grandma is Googling Uganda to see where this next grandson of hers is coming from. All the worry is vanishing into thin air if only for tonight.
Ahhhhh...... We can Breath.......a little.
Tomorrow is another story because tomorrow Kristen comes, our social worker, for the home study. She is moving mountains for us to complete our home study but she is going to want to be paid. The nerve of her, right? Anyway, why did I pay all those bills on time this weekend!!!!!!! Ugh! I'm so mad at myself for my efficiency. So right now I don't have two nickels to rub together and little Kristen is going to want many many nickels.
It's not that bad. I have the Bad American Back Up Plan but I've been to Financial Peace University and I shouldn't have the Bad American Back Up Plan. The BAB-UP as I'm now calling it entails the ole cash advance trick. But I have angst about that because I have so much out in receivables. It's like putting on weight and then trying to take it off. It's easy to put it on, really hard to take it off. Easy to take the cash advance - it's instantaneous, not so easy to pay it back - that will take at least a couple of weeks in processing, all the while the interest will be racking up. Angst. Angst because I know this is only step one in the process and I need to be able to anticipate these financial hurdles better.
I will chronicle the steps to setting up Pay Pal and the financial fundraisers as we move along in the process as a means to help others a few steps behind us in the journey. We've had many amazing people help us so far and if we can a help a little, well, awesome!
Anyway, back to tomorrow, or as it is now, today because I haven't slept at all worrying about today. My blackberry nudged me out of tossing and turning at 4:08 am to send me a notice that our flexible daycare spending account that I finally got around to sending out will mail our reimbursement today. That is great news as the check is $2,290.00!!!!!!!!! However, it's coming from Nebraska. I probably won't get it until Friday or Saturday. Why didn't I sign up for direct deposit?! Ugh! So mad at myself!
I'm so close to not having to take that cash advance yet I think I still have to do it. How's it going to look to the social worker if our check bounces? I really should just set my mind to it and move on. Don't I have bigger fish to fry?
Ahhhhh...... We can Breath.......a little.
Tomorrow is another story because tomorrow Kristen comes, our social worker, for the home study. She is moving mountains for us to complete our home study but she is going to want to be paid. The nerve of her, right? Anyway, why did I pay all those bills on time this weekend!!!!!!! Ugh! I'm so mad at myself for my efficiency. So right now I don't have two nickels to rub together and little Kristen is going to want many many nickels.
It's not that bad. I have the Bad American Back Up Plan but I've been to Financial Peace University and I shouldn't have the Bad American Back Up Plan. The BAB-UP as I'm now calling it entails the ole cash advance trick. But I have angst about that because I have so much out in receivables. It's like putting on weight and then trying to take it off. It's easy to put it on, really hard to take it off. Easy to take the cash advance - it's instantaneous, not so easy to pay it back - that will take at least a couple of weeks in processing, all the while the interest will be racking up. Angst. Angst because I know this is only step one in the process and I need to be able to anticipate these financial hurdles better.
I will chronicle the steps to setting up Pay Pal and the financial fundraisers as we move along in the process as a means to help others a few steps behind us in the journey. We've had many amazing people help us so far and if we can a help a little, well, awesome!
Anyway, back to tomorrow, or as it is now, today because I haven't slept at all worrying about today. My blackberry nudged me out of tossing and turning at 4:08 am to send me a notice that our flexible daycare spending account that I finally got around to sending out will mail our reimbursement today. That is great news as the check is $2,290.00!!!!!!!!! However, it's coming from Nebraska. I probably won't get it until Friday or Saturday. Why didn't I sign up for direct deposit?! Ugh! So mad at myself!
I'm so close to not having to take that cash advance yet I think I still have to do it. How's it going to look to the social worker if our check bounces? I really should just set my mind to it and move on. Don't I have bigger fish to fry?
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sending out the News....
Well, I got up the nerve and told my parents today that we were adding to our family and they would be the grandparents to a little boy from Uganda....
Those amazing parents of mine who, I'm sure worry over us, our finances, time with our kids, etc. gave their support and love to us. I felt immense relief. They may have gotten off the phone and FREAKED out. But they gave to me a gift of love and support when they could tell I was passionate about something and nervous to tell them.
My mom and dad are my best friends is this is one of the reasons why. They have always supported me because they know I do NOT do things half cocked. I am a careful planner and researcher. I am an 'against all odds girl'. I bought my first house in 1993 by myself, just about fresh out of college in when my friends were renting and 'adults' were laughing at me that I thought I could afford to buy when I just graduated college and didn't have much money saved. I didn't take no for an answer then and I learned a lot from that experience.
We have three sets of parents in our family so one down, two to go....
Those amazing parents of mine who, I'm sure worry over us, our finances, time with our kids, etc. gave their support and love to us. I felt immense relief. They may have gotten off the phone and FREAKED out. But they gave to me a gift of love and support when they could tell I was passionate about something and nervous to tell them.
My mom and dad are my best friends is this is one of the reasons why. They have always supported me because they know I do NOT do things half cocked. I am a careful planner and researcher. I am an 'against all odds girl'. I bought my first house in 1993 by myself, just about fresh out of college in when my friends were renting and 'adults' were laughing at me that I thought I could afford to buy when I just graduated college and didn't have much money saved. I didn't take no for an answer then and I learned a lot from that experience.
We have three sets of parents in our family so one down, two to go....
Having Faith
We received incredible news on my birthday from a baby's home in Uganda that we may soon hear about a referral. It seems that my letters and perhaps a conversation about us to the director from a mutual friend has peeked God's intent to put us on this path for good.
Minutes after hearing the news that a referral was imminent, I began the frantic paperwork to acquire the necessary paperwork for the home study and schedule our social worker. We had been tabling the social worker for long enough and now the time was here and we needed to act. We had just...enough...time. Time for the doctor's appointments, home study, criminal background, writing it all up and then the screeching sounds of metal on the tracks rang out as panic set in to the warm heart of my husband.
Like a wall street trader reacting to late day plummets in the market, Todd immediately constricted from the wonderful news and ordered all energy towards the adoption halted. Stunned, I sat helpless on the sofa because, to me, this boy was already my child; already part of our family. I was and am already fighting for him. Not because I simply feel I want another child in my life but because I feel his very life, is in peril and that if not for the Grace that God has shown me to insist upon this, he may not survive the harsh reality he is now enduring. He may survive physically, but will he reach his potential? Will he go to school? Will he show the world what he is capable of? What gifts does he possess that remain locked away?
We adopted before. After the heartbreaking loss of our 6 week old son. My arms ached and my heart yearned for my lost baby. We adopted our now 5 year old son at birth to heal us. To heal me. It was a gift from God to our broken family.
This adoption is different. This is God asking us to be humble and to have faith in Him. God has asked us to add to our family by giving to another because we our whole and we have so much to give. This time this is our gift to give humbly. Our family may think it's crazy to add another child when perhaps our finances may looked stretched. But we are asked to do it anyways. We may be frightened about the unknown but we are asked to show faith in spite of our fears.
But each week as I sit in Mass and listen it's as if God has walked in to church to deliver the homily to me personally in my journey. Last week we read Matthew 14:16-12
I heard this last week after Todd and I had a few frank and heated debate regarding the adoption and I walked away thinking to myself, "God is only asking us to feed One....not all five thousand" It was a powerful message and a time that I was ready to hear it. Unfortunately, I didn't think Todd was hearing any of it.
This week we continued exploring the miracles of Jesus with Jesus and Peter walking on water. Admittedly, I never knew Peter walked on water.....yep, I thought that was just a miracle performed by Jesus alone. Proof, that it is never too late to learn and grow deeper in one's own faith. Anyway, in Matthew 14:25-31 we see the struggles Todd and I have been engulfed in perfectly depicted, as if written last month to describe our faith crisis over the adoption.
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
Matthew 14:25-31
When we first came upon the idea of the adoption, we were estactic and we were fully confident that we could tackle any obstacle in the way during the journey. Then as we got onto the water, we lost faith and began to sink. How were we going to handle the demands of another child? What about the financial burdens? What if he comes with significant medical issues? All along with these questions, we never looked up to grab God's hand in faith. We never allowed him to pull us back in the boat.
I came home from church today with renewed purpose and layed out my new found revelations for Todd who seemed, eh, warmed by my enthusiasm. Todd takes time. But once he's in, he's all in.
I know in my heart that God has a path for us because he knows that we will take these risks with him. We will answer his call because we have been graced by so many of his blessings. I have faith and hope beyond my worries.
Minutes after hearing the news that a referral was imminent, I began the frantic paperwork to acquire the necessary paperwork for the home study and schedule our social worker. We had been tabling the social worker for long enough and now the time was here and we needed to act. We had just...enough...time. Time for the doctor's appointments, home study, criminal background, writing it all up and then the screeching sounds of metal on the tracks rang out as panic set in to the warm heart of my husband.
Like a wall street trader reacting to late day plummets in the market, Todd immediately constricted from the wonderful news and ordered all energy towards the adoption halted. Stunned, I sat helpless on the sofa because, to me, this boy was already my child; already part of our family. I was and am already fighting for him. Not because I simply feel I want another child in my life but because I feel his very life, is in peril and that if not for the Grace that God has shown me to insist upon this, he may not survive the harsh reality he is now enduring. He may survive physically, but will he reach his potential? Will he go to school? Will he show the world what he is capable of? What gifts does he possess that remain locked away?
We adopted before. After the heartbreaking loss of our 6 week old son. My arms ached and my heart yearned for my lost baby. We adopted our now 5 year old son at birth to heal us. To heal me. It was a gift from God to our broken family.
This adoption is different. This is God asking us to be humble and to have faith in Him. God has asked us to add to our family by giving to another because we our whole and we have so much to give. This time this is our gift to give humbly. Our family may think it's crazy to add another child when perhaps our finances may looked stretched. But we are asked to do it anyways. We may be frightened about the unknown but we are asked to show faith in spite of our fears.
But each week as I sit in Mass and listen it's as if God has walked in to church to deliver the homily to me personally in my journey. Last week we read Matthew 14:16-12
But Jesus said to them, “They do not need to go away; you give the something to eat!” They said to Him, “We have here only five loaves and two fish.” And He said, “Bring them here to Me.” Ordering the people to sit down on the grass, He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up toward heaven, He blessed the food, and breaking the loaves He gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds, and they all ate and were satisfied. They picked up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve full baskets. There were about five thousand men who ate, besides women and children.
Matthew 14:16-12
This week we continued exploring the miracles of Jesus with Jesus and Peter walking on water. Admittedly, I never knew Peter walked on water.....yep, I thought that was just a miracle performed by Jesus alone. Proof, that it is never too late to learn and grow deeper in one's own faith. Anyway, in Matthew 14:25-31 we see the struggles Todd and I have been engulfed in perfectly depicted, as if written last month to describe our faith crisis over the adoption.
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
Matthew 14:25-31
When we first came upon the idea of the adoption, we were estactic and we were fully confident that we could tackle any obstacle in the way during the journey. Then as we got onto the water, we lost faith and began to sink. How were we going to handle the demands of another child? What about the financial burdens? What if he comes with significant medical issues? All along with these questions, we never looked up to grab God's hand in faith. We never allowed him to pull us back in the boat.
I came home from church today with renewed purpose and layed out my new found revelations for Todd who seemed, eh, warmed by my enthusiasm. Todd takes time. But once he's in, he's all in.
I know in my heart that God has a path for us because he knows that we will take these risks with him. We will answer his call because we have been graced by so many of his blessings. I have faith and hope beyond my worries.
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