Why Should You 'Follow'?

Why should my friends, family and total strangers I don't know 'follow' our blog, sign up to 'follow by email' or bother commenting on our my posts? We'll in the words of my husband I'm an Attagirl girl.

Yep, I'm not too proud to admit it. I like Attagirls. I thrive on positive reinforcement and feel dejected and unworthy if I don't get my daily quota. My husband has learned over the years that a well timed, "Good job, babe" or "You got that done? You're awesome" will encourage more good behaviour plus it has an added bonus of an instant mood boost. Mine; not his. He has also learned that NO Attagirls will lead to a dark and unsightly place with no GPS.

This may be too much information into my psyche but, really, followers are great. What was the point in creating the blog to begin with? We created it to share our adoption experience, to chronical the journey, to educate others on the orphan crisis and, of course, to help us in part to fund the adoption costs. It's logical then, that the more people joining, engaging, asking questions, sharing ideas, and talking about our adoption, the more opportunity we'll have to accomplish our original goals.

Our followers are people who hopefully follow the blog on some type of regularity. But to guarentee you don't miss anything sign up to receive email alerts so when I post something new and wildly interesting you won't have to use your power of ESP to know I did it; somehow, you'll be sent the link to my latest post.

Comments could be another line of 'Attagirls' or it could be a useful tool for communicating like or differing points of view. You choose. I'll love 'em either way.

So that's my shameless plug. Thank you to the VERY lucky Original Twelve as I've taken to calling you. Well, one follower is me and the other is my husband so maybe I should change that to the Original Ten. Anyway, thank you to those who jumped on board while I'm still trying to figure it all out.

I'm challenging our readers to do all three today

1. Add your name to the Follow Our Blog section
2. Sign up to receive updates by adding your email to Follow By Email
3. Comment on this post

The Paper Trail

Today was a momentous day! I finally had the energy and the courage to face the mound of paperwork that needed to be done for I600a and for our lawyer.

The I600a goes to the United States Citizen And Immigration Service and is part of the process to certify that we are cleared (again) to bring a child from another country into the US. It is the form one fills out when a specific child has not yet been identified.

We will send that in tomorrow along with our hefty check of $890.  Once USCIS receives the paperwork and verifies that I haven't royally screwed anything up on the application, they will contact us with the exact day and time we are to have our fingerprints done (again). I am a bit nervous about this because I believe USCIS sets the appointment day and time....I'm not sure what happens to our regularly scheduled lives if we are not available at the appointment time. I'll leave this in the hands of the universe....
On the flip side, I believe the USCIS office we'll be directed to is very close to where we live...like 10 minutes away! I have heard of families who had to drive 6 hours! Ugh!

We need ONE MORE piece of documentation until I can send the paperwork to Uganda for our lawyer. We still need Todd's employment verification and we're all set. We hope that comes in this week and we can send the whole package to Uganda. Before we can do that, I will need to take that entire stack of paperwork, plus another 5 copies of our home study to the bank so that they can notarize everything as true copies. God bless Chase Bank...they will notarize for free for all their clients! Our banker did tell us to make an appointment if we were going to need 'a lot' of notarizing. Hmmm? Does that look like 'a lot'?

No money is required (I think!) for our lawyer to get started. She has stated she works on trust. Yay, because I have lots of it and I am trusting that this next phase goes smoothly so that we can then concentrate on finding our son.

Again, thank you to everybody who has prayed for our family and sent support so that we may continue on our path towards our adoption.

Emergency Trip to the Dentist

I was visiting a friend and her husband out of town this weekend. I called in Saturday night to check in on my husband and kids only to find the house in temporary crisis. Our middle daughter had just chipped her front permanent tooth on the bathtub. My husband was freaking out not very calm and my daughter was in hysterics.

I turned to Google and spent some quality time researching chipped teeth, broken teeth, kid's who are clumsy, etc. I needed to find encouragement that her tooth was fixable and that this was going to be okay. It was the only thing I could do from 2 hours away. I felt helpless and inadequate to help my daughter.

An hour later, I was armed with the information I needed to help my daughter long distance and called home again. I told my still crying daughter that I arranged my work day so that I could be at the dentist office first thing Monday morning, I told her they would fix it Monday then I'd take her to school after. By this time I felt 70% sure that what I was telling her was correct. If something happened and they couldn't take care of her Monday morning, I thought, we'll deal with that when we cross that bridge. My job was to help her through the next 36 hours.

Monday arrived and we were at the dentist by 9:30 and her tooth had been evaluated and was restored by 12:00. The entire time at the dentist, I was thanking God for our health system and our insurance coverage. I know how lucky we are to live in the United States and to have amazing health care coverage.

It got me thinking of Uganda, of course. What if a child chips his tooth in an orphanage in Uganda? Do people mobilize first thing on Monday morning to fix the tooth?  I bet with resources scarce, if the tooth is not bothering the child, as in my daughter's case, that little would be done.

I did some research and found that there are only 100 dental surgeons in Uganda – 80 of who work in Kampala. That’s 100 surgeons for nearly 34,000,000 people. I found organizations doing compassionate charitable work in Uganda but little in the way of sustainable, ongoing, and reliable dental services that would be available to the most needy of Uganda's people.

As I walk through my daily life, I measure my life as a mother in the United States to what it must be for a mother in Uganda. I often say a prayer for my blessings and for Uganda, that as it progresses in modernization, that the basic human services that we take for granted in the US are established in Uganda so that the millions of people living there will know the security that I know. I knew Saturday night that my daughter would be well cared for today. I want every mother in Uganda to have that same security. They deserve it.

Any News?

Nope.

No news.

We haven't heard anything and things have been very quiet on the adoption front. So quiet I'm starting to think the lull in the adoption process may be purposeful; designed by God to allow us to adjust and improve on ourselves, our schedules, our thinking, our faith.

While news from Uganda is slow our schedules here at home couldn't be busier, the kids are super involved with their school and activities and we are adjusting to my new work schedule. The whole family is starting to get into the rhythm of school and work. We finally have Google Calendar figured out and sync'd up to our phones. We actually sorta know who's taking which kids where and on what days.

Many times during this early fall, my husband has turned to me and said, "I'm not saying we shouldn't adopt...don't get me wrong. But how are we going to do this with four?" I smile.

It's a legitimate question but one I know will work itself out when the time comes. I remember thinking the same thing when I was pregnant with Number 1. How was I going to manage with a whole one baby? Then number 2 came and I worried incessantly over how I was going to get BOTH baby and toddler to the store by MYSELF. Then number 3 came along and by then I had pleasantly lost my mind and could handle all three kids under four with no sleep, one arm holding a babe and the other keeping two toddlers from running straight into traffic without breaking a sweat. Each time the answers came and we met the new demands together.

I am lucky to have an amazing husband who is hands-on. I'm the wife who is allowed to take a nap on the weekends if I need to or zone out once in a while on Facebook while he orchestrates dinner. On the other hand, he goes into the Man Cave when his day's been rough and I clean up and put the kids to bed. I'll also go to the store after the kids are asleep if he asks me very sweetly to get him ice cream (uh, who wouldn't?) We're a good team and I don't worry about another little babe running our lives.

So we wait. And we try to perfect what we have and who we are while God prepares our hearts and our home for our new son. I have complete faith that our family will be completed in His time and in His way.

We will keep you posted. Check back for updates.

PS One a side note, I have two friends who are in Africa right now bringing their new sons home this week. I have prayed for their families and it is so sweet to watch their stories unfolding. See, it just shows that it's not our turn yet. We can't all be there at the same time. Who would watch the Rangers?

New Way to Help

We have had a few comments from some of our friends and family about their reservations in using Pay Pal to gift our family with a donation for the adoption fund. While I am 100% secure in Pay Pal's ability to keep all transactions safe, I understand some people's uneasiness with a process they've never used.

I was speaking with my banker at Chase about my accounts and mentioned this challenge. He told me there is a very easy way to send money with Chase Person to Person Quick Pay. I have added a button on the side bar.

It is very simple to use and you can send money with this service even if you don't have a Chase bank account. You will need to create an identity and password. Then you'll enter our email address which is jeffreyfamilyblessingsatyahoodotcom (for spam reasons, people don't usually put actual email addresses on their blogs and websites, so use @ and . where appropriate or that dog won't hunt)

Once you enter my email address and follow the prompts, Chase will send me a notification that you would like to send money, I accept, and you'll be sent a form to fill out your routing number and the amount you'd like sent. Again, you do not need to have a Chase bank account!

That's it. Very simple AND Chase does not charge for this service unlike Pay Pal so 100% of your donation will go the adoption fund.

One last thing, some people just roll old school and want to send a check in the mail. Send me an email at the above address and I will happily send you our address.

With the adoption process moving along and our timeline inching closer to a referral and travel to Uganda, we are humbled by the outpouring of support and prayers for our family and this yet unknown little boy. Thank you to each and every one of you.

Update on our Winner

After announcing the Winner in our Give Away on Monday morning as Mrs. Dee S, I received a little note saying that it was her birthday.

Awwwww.......

How sweet that she won on her birthday! Happy birthday to you, Dee!

And thank you, again, for your support.

Thank you to everybody for your support. Without you, we wouldn't have the resources to bring home our little boy!

Giving Big Hearts of Kids

Reposted from Little Kids Big Faith

Our little Jack is turning into a surprising love bug. Surprising? Kinda, because he's Texas tough. But the other night he showed true compassion and a spirit of giving that touched my heart.

It all started with a few cases of Strep throat.

I understand that in households across America, moms succeed in achieving tidy, clean, efficient, beautiful bathrooms for their kids everyday. However, the truth for us lies somewhere between too small and close to HazMat dirty at times.

The three kids share a bathroom and we have had two rounds of Strep in the past three weeks. We decided drastic action was necessary.

The solution began with a trip to WalMart for handsaniter (hanitizer as we call it), antibacterial wipes, new toothbrushes, new toothpaste, and tongue scrapers. $100 later we were armed with what we thought would prevent the spread of this annoying and expensive infection.

Each child got his or her own drawer or cabinet to keep all their personal items. Gone were the days of every one's toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet. We sterilised the entire bathroom, gave a fresh new toothbrush and toothpaste to each child. Everyone got a new tongue scraper.

I was about to congratulate myself on my genius when I spied 87 six damp towels haphazardly hung on the towel rack. I saw with my naked eye every damp Strep cell dividing and spreading from towel to towel. No child of mine every cared if she was using her own towel or if he was, in fact, using the bath mat to dry off.

So our next step was to get out my favorite appliance of all time...my label maker! I threw all those nasty towels in the wash on hot, got out three fresh towels and labeled where each child would be hanging his or her towel for ever more.

Then the real genius hit and I called the kids in to show them my amazing work and to announce the World's Cleanest Kid in the Bathroom contest. Whoever could keep their personal space the cleanest for the next week, I proclaimed, would get the not yet decided upon secret PRIZE.

One week later, I was enjoying the cleanest bathroom of all time. If a child happened to leave his towel on the floor, well, I could tell in a millisecond whose towel it was. The personal drawer space was working like a charm and the kids were still enjoying the newness of the antibacterial wipes to clean the counter each night.

But why is this post called Giving Big Hearts of Kids? Because last night I announced the winner. Not wanting any 'losers' in my house but still wanting to promote a healthy sense of competition, I gave first, second and third prizes. Not really surprising to us, they won in birth order. Jack came in third. He had a couple of unfortunate mishaps in the bathroom but he still won a quarter. Layne, does exactly what she needs to get by but our first born, Kate does it with gusto. So Kate won a Dollar, Layne won Fifty Cents and Jack got a Quarter.

Then the sweetest thing happened when I tucked Jack into bed...."Mom, I want to give my Nickle (aka that quarter I just gave him) to the adoption fund."

Break my heart with pride at his love.

A Different Kind of Prayer

I have been praying a lot when I go to bed. My prayers are not what you might expect from a mother waiting to adopt a child. I do not pray for God to bring our son home quickly and safely. I feel selfish in that prayer and it weighs on me. Instead, I pray that whomever God chooses to bring into our family is safe tonight and happy and healthy.

When we get an email or phone call that a child is available for adoption, it will say one thing first, his family could not care for him. His family has made an excruciating decision and they are in pain for surely, no one leaves a child at an orphanage lightly. This boy will be forever changed by this event. It will follow him and change the trajectory of his life. He will wear this new identity forever and it will be our jobs as his new parents to make him whole again by providing a loving home where he can heal and grow and thrive. This is the job that our whole family will embark on, the kids included.

So tonight my prayer is this,

"Dear Lord, please watch over him and keep him safe.. whoever he is and wherever he is. Help me to remember that joy for us in expanding our family will mean heartache and uncertainty for our new son and his family. If there is a way for this child to remain with his mother, please Lord, help them find a way. If he must leave his birth family, help us to bring him home quickly so that he may begin to heal from his loss and grow into the man you intend for him to be.

In your loving name, I pray.

Amen"

I fret over praying just the right prayer. I know the Lord knows my intentions but I work on that prayer every night as I doze off to sleep. I want so badly to get the prayer correct. To put this boy's needs above mine, to put God's will above all and to be humble in my desires.

Winner!!!!!!!!!!

During September, the Jeffrey family sold pieces of our keepsake Puzzle to raise money for our international adoption. For every piece sold, we entered the donors once. Tonight the girls and I held the very official drawing (after negotiating who could do the actual drawing out of the bowl).

We have a winner!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations go to Mrs. Dee S. who won this little beauty from Noonday Collection. It is in the mail you, my friend!

Our fundraising efforts so far have earned us $1775.00.

In addition, we have managed to save an additional $1000.00. And we already paid for the home study, one round of fingerprinting, the doctor visits, and with the help of our mother in law we have our passports lined up. All total we have $2775.00 in the bank and have already paid $1400 towards previous adoption related expenses. We have accounted for $4175.00 of the $25,000.00 estimated for the cost for the adoption.

I'm no math wiz but that's about 1/6 of the way there. Not bad, I say.

Our family has committed to no dinners out, no fast food, no dry cleaning (as if...), no date nights (again, haha). We also renegotiated our cable and tv contract as well as our car and home insurance. And Layne, bless her heart, gave up a big birthday party out and instead had a few good friends over to the house to watch a movie, eat pizza and decorate cupcakes. Jack keeps coming to me with 'gifts' to sell for the adoption. It's heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. His 'gifts' are scraps of paper with little drawings he did and perhaps a stray staple he managed to sneak on the paper or a small stray toy he found that he thought had great monetary value. We have no credit cards and both trucks are paid off. Amy is working overtime to earn a little extra here and there and in the words of Frankie, the mom from The Middle, "We're getting ahead of it!"  The efforts are paying off.

Thank you to everybody who has contributed to help bring a little boy home to a loving family.